Couples Therapy
I work with both opposite sex and gay and lesbian couples. Many couples wait until the relationship has reached a crisis point before getting help. Other couples come to therapy for help in breaking up in a way that’s not destructive, especially when children are affected. Sometimes, it’s in the aftermath of an infidelity or after a long period of hostility or cold distance. My first task is to get an agreement by both partners on the goals for therapy. I find that goals need to be specific and achievable or else therapy can become too vague and unfocused. I also try to assess where people are at in terms of their motivation to stay together. It is not always necessary for each partner to be equally motivated in order for therapy to help. If each person is at least motivated to try and willing to do the work, it is possible (though not easy, to be frank) to ease and replace negativity and hostility and transform the relationship into a healthy and emotionally satisfying partnership.
I also welcome couples whose relationships are essentially healthy but stuck with a particular issue that professional help may be useful in helping to get to resolution or at least to a “agree to disagree” solution. Couples may also come in to improve their communication skills and deepen their emotional and romantic connection.